
Becoming My Own F‑ing Soulmate is about what happens after the chaos ends—when there’s no one left to blame, fix, or obsess over. From the world of Secret Life comes a new novel about emotional sobriety, endings, and becoming your own safe place.

A darkly hilarious novel about toxic relationship recovery, emotional sobriety, and becoming your own soulmate.
Roxie thought hitting bottom was the worst day of her life.
Turns out, the real nightmare starts when the chaos stops—because now she has to deal with the one person she’s been avoiding for decades: herself.
In Becoming My Own F-ing Soulmate, Roxie is learning to live without the toxic relationships that once functioned like emotional caffeine. No more disaster men. No more intensity disguised as chemistry. Now it’s just her, the quiet, and her recovery tribe: CoolGirl fighting charm addiction, GlamGirl rebuilding a life she torched twice, TattooGirl hanging on by a thread, Alice insisting she’s “fine,” and Dr. Kath dismantling denial one uncomfortable truth at a time.
With no drama left to hide behind, every unresolved wound comes roaring to the surface. Dating turns into a full-contact sport of ghosters, love-bombers, self-proclaimed spiritual gurus, and one man who brings his emotional support tarot deck. And when “Mr. Handsome” arrives—stable, grounded, and emotionally available—Roxie spirals into the most uncomfortable territory of all: real intimacy.
She’s the one she keeps abandoning.
"Smart, raw, and irresistibly candid, this book will make you laugh, wince, and maybe even see yourself in its pages. Secret Life to Finding Your Soulmate reminds us that the most complicated love story is often the one we have with ourselves—and that sometimes the messiest paths lead us exactly where we're meant to be."
Emily Giffin, New York Times Best-Selling Author of Something Borrowed

"A powerful, raw and vulnerable read.”—Olivia Munn, actress, The Newsroom
"Unflinchingly candid. Unspeakably sexy. And oh, so curiously entertaining."
—Steve Antin, Golden Globe winner, Burlesque
Imagine if Sex and the City's Samantha discovered she was an addict and her drug of choice was MEN. Go on a hilarious, inspiring, and at times, shocking journey as Roxanne conquers her fears, changes her ways, gets closer to healthy relationships and begins loving herself a little more each day.
After years of working as an image-obsessed actress in Hollywood, Roxanne finds herself at rock bottom from a disease that is anything but glamorous. In her first year of recovery, Roxanne has to take accountability for her past. From tales of being mistaken for a prostitute at the Hotel Bel-Air to botching a threesome attempt with an A-list celebrity, she must face the truth about herself and stop playing the victim.
Roxanne's odyssey of using sex and love—as destructive and beguiling as an alcoholic reaching for a bottle—is a veritable rollercoaster of ups and downs, laughter and tears, and a true testament to facing your absolute truth and conquering your fears.
Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict has the vibrant, relatable vibe of chick lit, the soul-baring honesty of a memoir and the wisdom of a self-help book.
In this unique roman à clef novel, Brianne Davis shares her own intimate experience with the transformational power of recovery, providing strength and hope for anyone who wants to change their life forever.
When I first started my recovery, I struggled through the textbook-like material on the subject. I wanted to make the addiction and the recovery from it accessible and relatable to more people by telling it in an entertaining way.
If I can help just one person find a solution or at least realize that they're not broken or alone... then writing this has all been worth it.
- Author, Brianne Davis
Available exclusively on Audible, Amazon and Apple!
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“WOW! THIS BOOK! What a wild, raw, and as author Brianne Davis says, totally gnarly ride about a Hollywood sex addict—and her inspiring journey toward self-love, personal growth, and healing. It’s so different from what I usually read, but I really enjoyed it, and highly recommend you pick up a copy.”
—Emily Giffin, New York Times Best-Selling Author of The Lies That Bind
“A powerful, raw and vulnerable read. Brianne wrote a witty and captivating roman à clef novel based on her own bottoming out as a sex and love addict. I applaud her for going deeper to help others understand the often-misunderstood disease of sex and love addiction.”
—OLIVIA MUNN, actress, The Newsroom, X-Men: Apocalypse
“Actress Brianne Davis takes us behind the glitz and glamour for a brutally candid, no-holds-barred look at Tinseltown’s forever-favorite addiction: sex. How does a pretty Southern girl-gone-Hollywood beat her demon of choice? You’ll cry... and laugh... as you join her harrowing and hilarious ride to sex-addiction sobriety.”
—SPENCER BECK, Former editor-in-chief of LA Confidential, editor-in-chief Los Angeles and contributing editor at Vanity Fair
“Add to the list of her talents as actress and performer the fact that Brianne Davis can write! Her stories are honest, almost to the point of painfully so, as she tells the story of navigating a world where sex and beauty are commodities to be used and abused by those who have the power. At the end of the day, like Sex and the City, this is a tale of finding one’s self and reasserting a true feminist ideal: that your destiny is yours to create.”
—LUCY DANZIGER, New York Times best-selling author of The Nine Rooms of Happiness and former editor-in-chief of SELF
“It takes a lot of courage to do what Brianne is doing in this book. To mirror her life into Roxanne is not only fearless, but wildly entertaining. It’s a world with so much darkness, yet Brianne has not only found the humor but the story to bring it to life because, let’s face it, we all want to know more.”
—JANA KRAMER, singer, actress on One Tree Hill, and New York Times best-selling author of The Good Fight
“It’s rare that I find a writing style that is so similar to my own with its raw shock value and wildly fun stories. This book encompasses all that and more. What a fun f%*king read.”
—GABRIELLE STONE, best-selling author of Eat, Pray, #FML
“Brianne Davis is a master storyteller who shares the down-and-dirty details of her experiences with sex addiction with unflinching honesty and surprising humor. Anyone wondering how they got there themselves will find answers in this book that’s full of insight, hope and heart.”
—MEGHANN FOYE, author of Meternity, deputy editor Seventeen and Woman’s Day
“Brianne’s writing draws you in with her authentic, original voice, channeled into her narrator Roxanne, who talks about sex and addiction in ways you haven’t heard before; no sugar-coating, no excuses, just the gritty details of her bumpy ride to the bottom, and her courageous march toward change and healing.”
—DANA STEVENS, writer/creator ABC’s Reckless, screenwriter City of Angels and screenplay adapter of New York Times best-selling author Nicolas Sparks’ Safe Haven
“Unflinchingly candid. Unspeakably sexy. And oh so curiously entertaining. Our central character Roxanne takes us into her world with raw, funny, dramatic and palpable truth, hijacking us into experiencing each and every sordid but titillating detail. Brianne Davis’ journey into her compelling addiction is a bold, honest page-turner. All through the eyes of her fundamentally flawed heroine, Roxanne, who wins our hearts.”
—STEVE ANTIN, Golden Globe winner for Burlesque
“An incredibly honest and unflinching portrayal of untreated sex and love addiction; from her days of using sex as a weapon to her remarkable healing.”
—PAUL GILMARTIN, comedian, award-winning host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast
“They say secrets keep you sick. If this is true, then Brianne Davis’ book may be the long-awaited cure. Having had my own similar experiences on the other side of ‘Roxanne’s’ secret, I myself found an unexpected healing in the pages of this profoundly personal and bravely transparent book. What Brianne has done is not merely given us a peek into her deepest secrets. That would be too provocative for the sake of being provocative. Instead, she’s given us something much more nuanced and real; permission. Permission to boldly take a long look at one’s self in the mirror of life, and know, that with acceptance, hard work, and forgiveness, one always has the power to change the view. Will you?”
—KELLEE STEWART, actress My Boys and Hot Tub Time Machine, creator/writer of 29 Eggs
“Brianne paints that scene, warts and all, not in a movie role but in her real life. To say it bluntly, she did too much, too often and for too long. She did not need to share her journey from shame to grace, she chose to. It took courage to come out of the shadows and into the light, and she did it with humor and honesty. This is a must-read for anyone in recovery. Hats off for a job well done.”
—JAY PARKER, founder of No More Secrets and author of A Year of No More Secrets
“Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict is deeply honest and hilarious. If you’ve ever suffered for love—this book will tell you why. Creatively told through the vulnerable lens of a beautiful woman and storyteller who deeply wants to bring awareness and recovery to the deadly disease of sex and love addiction. Brianne Davis’ journey makes me believe in the possibility of achieving the greatest love of all: true self-love.”
—NADINE VELAZQUEZ, actress, Flight, My Name is Earl, Six
“It’s an understatement to say that Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict bares all... in EVERY sense of the word. It takes a hell of a lot of guts, tenacity and yes, willingness to expose your soul so that others may learn from your tumultuous, sometimes self-induced/crazed experiences. I applaud Brianne on her journey through recovery, proving to all of us that it is never too late to reinvent yourself.”
—ELLEN HOLLMAN, actress, The Matrix 4, Spartacus
“An honest, sometimes gut-wrenching, exploration into the painful truth of trying to survive life as a sex and love addict. This ‘shit show in a fuck factory’ is a must-read for all the women out there hiding their heart behind their ‘cool girl’ facade in relationships!”
—DANIELLE HARRIS, actress, Halloween 4 and 5, Rob Zombie’s Halloween
“Brianne Davis takes us inside—way inside—a life wilder, darker, and more healing than we ever thought Hollywood could be. Roxanne’s journey is one we’d never want to be on, but one we all have shared in some way. If you’ve ever kept a secret and dared to face the shame of recovering your best self, Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict is a must-read!”
—BONNIE GILLESPIE, casting director, coach and author of Self-Management for Actors: Getting Down to (Show) Business
“Shocking and seductive. An addictively wild ride. Brianne Davis’ raw honesty is a fresh look at addiction and female sexuality.”
—FIONA GUBELMANN, actress, The Good Doctor, Wilfred

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Brianne guests on The Doctors and discusses the difference between sex and love addiction.
An interview with Daily Blast about the release of Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict.
"Women Leaders Secrets to Success" with Brianne Davis, author of Secret Life
Brianne joins panel of filmmakers at Sundance.
Secret Life Podcast — 300+ episodes. Every Monday,
Brianne goes deep on one subject: toxic relationships,
codependency, recovery, identity, grief, and the
patterns keeping you stuck. Raw, honest, and never
sanitized. Listen wherever you podcast.

After 16 years of personal recovery and years of coaching work, I developed a framework called The Fantasy Loop™ — a 7-step cycle that explains why we become addicted to unavailable love, and why the patterns keep repeating no matter how much work we do.
Most people come to coaching knowing their patterns. They've read the books, done the therapy, identified their attachment style. And they're still in the loop.
That's because the loop isn't a knowledge problem. It's a nervous system pattern — one that can be understood, mapped, and broken.
The Fantasy Loop is the framework underneath my coaching work. It explains the mechanism driving the toxic relationship cycles, the codependency, the trauma bonds, and the self-abandonment that bring most of my clients to me in the first place.
Understanding where you are in the loop is often the first real break.
You're not broken. You're in the loop.
The no-filter non-fiction companion to the Secret Life series. Eight of the most destructive relationship patterns — named, dissected, and dismantled. Battle-tested tools drawn from 16+ years of recovery and real client work.
Coming soon.
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→ thebriannedavis.substack.com

Brianne Davis is the author of Secret Life of a
Hollywood Sex & Love Addict and Becoming My Own
F-ing Soulmate, and the creator of The Fantasy
Loop™ — a framework explaining why we become
addicted to unavailable love. With 16+ years of
personal recovery from sex and love addiction,
she is also a relationship and recovery coach
and the host of Secret Life Podcast. She lives
in Los Angeles with her husband and son.

Once a week I write to you the way I'd talk to a friend who's doing the work. Whatever I'm sitting with, learning the hard way, or think might actually help you. The show is where the stories live. This letter is where we go deeper.
→ Join free at thebriannedavis.substack.com